like a little kid riding my two-wheel bike for more than a few feet for the first time...waiting for the fall
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warning this post is A) cliche B) sappy
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recently ive been so blessed
.
a new boyfriend popped up in the most unexpected way. someone so opposite of me that plays the ultimate role. he shaves my edge off and he tells me i inspire him. and he is someone who isnt afraid of my past and refuses to rush me. a truly beautiful beginning.
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and my career is just exploding. i have so much opportunity. enough so that i cant even run from it. i am so excited about my future. things just feel good. i have so many new ideas every night that i cant even sleep.
.
productive insomnia
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but it all just scares the hell out of me. but not the guy this time. i finally found something bigger. and that alone feels like a win. its not the main focus.
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and with it all i feel this horrible guilt. my art is getting me somewhere. and i know im not bad, but im definitely not the best artist even here in the area. i feel like im stealing opportunity from someone more deserving. ive met so many struggling artists who just cant get it going. its just been so easy for me.
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but then again, if its so easy for me, that has to mean something
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right?
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then there is the roller coaster
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what goes up always falls
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and things are just so great
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i cant help but brace myself for impact
.
love and sugar
.
ash | 
